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You Do Matter  5-7-2013

We've all been there. You run up to the store to grab a single item and get stuck behind some slowpoke engaging the cashier with idle chit-chat. It happened to me the other day as I found myself stalled behind an elderly lady. My usual impatience ran out even more quickly as this woman with the booming voice bore an uncanny resemblance to my grandmother. Locked in place with lines on both sides, I started paying attention to her conversation. Is it eavesdropping if she was speaking loud enough to be heard two aisles over?
 
The conversation started out with the usual discussion about the weather and how she hoped it would not rain over the weekend. I didn't see anything interesting there until she continued with why she didn't want rain: "The men in my church are going to change the oil for the widows and single ladies this weekend, and I sure want the oil in my car changed."
 
She continued. "Yes, there was one man in my church who started this service and now we have lots of kind men who are helping out us older gals. I'm on a fixed income, you know, and can't afford to take care of some things the way I should, let alone my car. It's good of these guys to help out, and there's no charge. Can you believe that? No charge! I am praying for good weather, and I sure thank God for these men."
 
She smiled at the cashier, paid for her few items, and left me standing there.
 
Men, what we do does matter; this woman is a testimony to how much it does.
 
I don't know what church she attends, but I'm encouraged by the fact that somebody had a good idea and others followed, giving their time, ability and finances to offer a simple service that is often taken for granted. This woman reminded me how something as basic as an oil change can mean so much. It meant so much she publicly thanked God for the guys who were doing it.
 
Wouldn't it be awesome if each of us found one simple way to provide a service to others?

Man of Integrity 5-14-2013

Dwight David "Ike" Eisenhower, 34th president of the United States, five-star general in the United States Army, and supreme commander of the Allied Forces in Europe during World War II has commented thusly: "The supreme quality for leadership is unquestionably integrity. Without it, no real success is possible, no matter whether it is on a section gang, a football field, in an army, or in an office."
 
Integrity is defined as the quality of possessing -- and steadfastly adhering -- to high moral principles or professional standards. The mark of a man of integrity would be a man who consistently lives out high moral principles, even when no one is looking.
 
It has been my ongoing goal to be a man of integrity, but I have found it increasingly difficult, as I am pressured to retreat from some values in the name of conformity.
 
For example, I try to obey the laws of the land, even those that govern how I operate a motor vehicle. Doing this, however, can be a mixed bag. Thus, when I am driving 60 mph in a 60-mph speed zone, I often become the recipient of moans, groans and comic pleadings from the back seat to step on it and go faster. Most often I hear, "Dad, everyone else is passing you. I can't believe you let yourself get passed by a mini-van. I just hope no one sees me in here."
 
Internally, I wrestle with the integrity issue. Do I maintain my values as a law-abiding citizen? Do I capitulate in order to save face in front of my children?
 
I struggle with the whole honesty issue too. Frequently, I hear of sports legends, Hollywood celebs, politicians and business leaders who are seemingly rewarded for their less-than-honorable actions. And this goes on while others choose the high road, making the tough decision to forego dishonest gain. Too often those that abide by the rules are overtaken by those who have figured out how to fold, bend and even break them.
 
Still, when it comes down to it, I'll continue striving to live a life of integrity, as best I can. I will stop at stop signs, keep my eye on the speed limit, and even give myself a penalty stroke when I play golf.
 
Even when nobody is watching.
 
Now that's the kind of courage even a guy like Ike would like.

Honor  5-21-2013

In early medieval times, one's "honour" (honor) was defined as the group of manors or lands one held. Thus an honor was an estate that gave the owner a certain dignity and status. Hence if one would say, "on my honor" he was pledging his estate as surety that he would fulfill his pledge or forfeit the estate. To pledge one's honor was not something taken lightly.
 
Medieval knights lived their lives by a code of honor, commonly known as the Knight's Code of Chivalry. Among the various nuances of the Code of Chivalry, the concept of "honor" was at the core. Knights vowed to respect and protect the honor of women, guard the honor of fellow knights and live an honorable life in word and deed.
 
Today a man of honor is one worthy of respect, usually having earned it through honest actions, high morals, and fair dealings.
 
When a man of honor pledges "on my honor," he no longer pledges on his estate, but on his reputation and good name. A man of honor will keep his pledge or forfeit his position of honor.
 
As the United States honors fallen veterans, it is fitting we look beyond the sacrifice they made -- beyond their military record -- instead, we need to look at the person inside the uniform.
 
There we will discover a person of honor. We will find a person worthy of respect, which has been earned through honest dealings; a person of high morals who treats others fairly. And just like the medieval knights, we will see a person who is honest and upright, defending his country, preserving the dignity of others, living a life of integrity and worthy of emulation.
 
It is altogether fitting we honor our fallen comrades. However, thankfully, one does not have to fall in battle to be a person of honor.
 
Men, let us strive to live honorable lives. Let us be fair, just and respectful. Let us pledge to uphold the honor of those unable to defend themselves. Let us respect and defend the honor of all women. Let us be true leaders in our family, in our community, and in our workplace who daily display honor and respect.
 
Let us take seriously the promise, "on my honor," and by our actions and attitudes live lives worthy of honorable mention.

Be Spontaneous  5-28-2013

Although designated as a day to remember veterans who have died in service to their country, Memorial Day has become a day to remember all who have died, regardless of their military status or service. This year will be no exception, as I will remember first those who have fallen in battle, then those who have worn the uniform but are no longer with us, and then those who have not served, but who have died.
 
This Memorial Day I will again reflect on the growing list of names of people who are no longer with us. I can examine my life today and be thankful for their influence and instruction. For among those whom I recall are those who introduced me to the Scriptures; those who taught me right from wrong; those who lived lives worthy to be emulated; those who pointed out my faults; and those who loved me -- warts and all.
 
Then I thought who will remember me on Memorial Days in the future; what will they remember me for?
 
Will I be remembered as a man who lived his faith or a man who lost his temper? Will a future generation recall me tenderly, glad I was a part of its past, or will I be recalled in less- than-friendly ways?
 
Perhaps now is the time to begin building memories those coming after you will recall -- fondly. The best way to build memories is to take time with those you love. Perhaps, not surprisingly, it's not the things you give away, but the time you give away that others remember well and appreciate long after you're gone.
 
The time you spend playing, sharing stories and letting people experience the real you will last for generations. Make this Memorial Day one that will find you doing things worth remembering with the ones you love.

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